Wednesday, January 03, 2007

Onward Goddamnit

I'm all full of endorphins, a super-rad rocket ship of euphoria. I invented a new thing tonight that I call Running With Music. In this blaze of glory begins my training for the next marathon. I know, it is ten months away but my resolution for 2007 is to run the Portland Marathon in 3 hours and 45 minutes.

What I didn't elaborate on back in October is that I trained to run the marathon in 4:10. Over zealous and devil may care, I practically overtook the pacer bounding along with a 3:50 balloon over his head between mile three and four. I decided Here! was my pace and with a fantastic glory in my mind charged the course with the 3:50ers for 13.1 miles, until I was all used up. I let the red balloon slowly pull away and vanish. It was a very sobering moment.

In the end I finished with the exact time I set out to run but instead of feeling triumphant I was disappointed and unsatisfied. I think I could have run a 4 hour marathon if my eyes hadn't gotten so big. I could have run a 3:50 marathon if I had had a little more faith in myself when I had set my goal in the first place.

I could have run a 3:50 marathon if I hadn't been so wussy about having a heart-attack or a little death on the course. If only I had manned up, I could have and should have.

So I can't be shy this year. I can't know I should have set the bar higher in the end.

Other resolutions for the NEW YEAR 2007: Some are new, and some are repeats from years past, years in which I failed (BOO, HISS)... yes failed.

RESOLVED:
I am going to become a morning person. Within a few short days of finishing school I snapped back into my 4am schedule. I am hard wired this way but I try and will try again. I am going to do my running in the early mornings and be all perky and alive. You won't even know me.

Maybe too this will reduce the number of mysterious ailments I bring back from my dreams... swollen knuckle, pinched earlobe, eerie premonition...

Anyway, in this most recent attempt I have developed a taste for valerian root tea which most people find disgusting, but then, that is what they said about beer the first time they tried it too.

RESOLVED:
I am going to run 1000 miles this year. I have tried this for the last few years and then go take 20 credits and have a breakdown, or come up with tendonitis or break something or go vacationing. This goal means an average of 20 miles a week, despite wedding or weakness.

RESOLVED:
Simplify

RESOLVED:
Get married. My way...er, our way. The tides are strong. I keep getting swept up in what a wedding should be.

RESOLVED:
Be a better friend, a better daughter, a better stranger, a better face in the crowd, a better Buddhist, a better athlete, a better animal, a more honest liar, an awesome interpreter, a better relaxer/notcarer, a better debt payer/notimpulse buyer, a frequenter blogger, a laundry folder,

... there is no end to the list of improvements I could make. I resolve every day anew.

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I forgot to mention one of the best highlights of 2006. My father took up running last fall. I like to think I was his inspiration. I sent him a ten week training schedule that over the course of 10 weeks will build a runner. He built himself into a 30 minute runner and on Christmas we ran. It was awesome.

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