Wednesday, October 25, 2006

Its always something

I cannot reply to comments. I cannot access my feeds on bloglines. Cannot see my blogroll. Email, links, everything... If you can't even view half of each page on the internet the joy of being online is completely neutralized. Poor me, I know.

I am sure glad I have enough food and a home full of love and electric heat and soap. This is what I think every morning.

Nevertheless, the overwhelming lesson this year is (seems to be) STOP TRYING TO RUSH THINGS. One might think I was measuring myself for a coffin... so rushed to move on... that is if one believes one learns lessons in life as they become necessary to learn, in a serendipitous manner that is... then the ferocity of this year, and it has been a very fierce year indeed, might lead you to draw such conclusions.

I bought a picturecard of the Buddha and I am going to gaze upon it to remind myself to stop desiring things that do not exist in this moment, or to stop desiring things at all for that matter. Which might, in my case be a bad thing because I would just stay in bed. This is sometimes my desire but in this case it could just happen passively to me while I become enlightened.


Last night I held the fingertips of my left hand on the scalding hot mesh in the back of the inside of the drier and they instantly blistered. Ouch. So much for that reflex arc. Am I demyelinating? What am I dying of now?? Its really too bad, get out the measuring tape. I want my fingers to not hurt. I want to get to the allhealedup part. Desire is like that.

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