I have crackhead nerves, they sort of scream and jangle and twitch and I stop breathing when I need the oxygen most. I am not a fearful person in many respects. I am not particularly afraid of dark alleys or masked intruders. But I am terrified of people point blank, like when they make direct eye contact.
Today I went back to campus for yet another Qualifying Exam. Having passed the QE once before, having narrowly survived the ordeal, I find it particularly grueling (and unusually cruel) to endure this scrutiny again. During the first half of the assessment I interpreted from spoken English to ASL and nearly vomited on my shoes. It was very similar to the experience I had last March. I thought maybe I should just walk out the door because perhaps my real path is to become a Buddhist monk.
How can life be this bad?
THANKS FOR TAKING THE TIME TO COME IN. IF WE DON'T THINK YOU ARE READY YOU'LL NEED TO TAKE THE QE AGAIN IN NOVEMBER AND YOU CAN JOIN THE INTERNSHIP STUDENTS WHO ARE IN THEIR FIRST PLACEMENT IN THE WINTER TERM. WE'LL BE IN TOUCH BY MONDAY EITHER WAY.
By the time I got back to my car I could barely recall the details... awkward syntax, inappropriate sign choice, skewed meanings... the memory already wadded up and illegible.
An hour later I had a message in my INBOX.
... we just finish reviewing your interpreting, both parts, and we have agreed that you are ready to begin an internship.
I suppose this calls for a celebration.
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