Tuesday, November 22, 2005
As far as I am concerned my vacation started about five minutes ago when I saved my work and closed MSWord. I have a 12 hour day of class tomorrow but that is a formality. Everything is turned in and what more do I care?
Somehow eight weeks have passed since the start of the term. I, catapulted through time/space with my hair in mess, cds scratched, books dogeared, underfed, bad-dreaming. The world that does not revolve around me is fragmentary and lonely. The world that does revolve around me is suffocating and static. I cannot believe I am so fucking mediocre.
Be failed. You are unrequited love, you are a life cut short, you are we'llneverknownow, you are romantic and lovely, you are fragmentary, suspended, you are wine and candle light, you are tragic and brilliant. Potential untapped is endless potential. Thats my MO, I dont like proof, I like tragedy. I failed the QE, I am sure of it.
That is uncomfortable and honest. That is accountability and nakedness. Sigh. Be Failed is a directional verb.
Today I came home and found this note on my mailbox. Together we cajoled Willie down from the shed roof with a rattle can of kitty treats. She is voluptuous and well-fed. She has cost me and I am suspending her food-chain rights.
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