Wednesday, October 05, 2005

Something better to do

My heater broke down, house is cold and Willie has a catbite abscess on her tail. It isn't cute, all shaved and all, and I have to do awful disgusting things to keep it clean. My foot started hurting yesterday with little or no provocation and I am icing like a maniac with only four days to go. I went to Costco today and ate lots of free snacks, bought two jars of pickles and some glucostamine. So far, school is nothing like last year. Things are immensely improved, partly because the number of interpreting students has shrunk from 26 down to 8. I ate 15 grape tomatoes today, but right now I am eating popcorn with hot sauce and brewers yeast and garlic salt. Mymy but I love garlic. Jim Harrison claims that civilized people consider garlic a vegetable, not an herb.

I had shitty dreams last night about Marathon day. It was morning and I was in the small house my family lived in on Main street in Ashland when I was growing up. I was trying to get dressed and everytime I found one article of clothing I lost another. When I looked for my shoes they were under a huge pile of clothes. I had to dig through the pile but they were the wrong shoes. My real shoes were under the new pile I had just made from the old pile but now it was even bigger and messier and those shoes weren't mine either.... just a brokedown pair of tennies with frayed laces. And this kept happening no matter how neat I tried to be, till the house was a total mess and the marathon was almost starting and I was going to be late and runners were starting to pass by on the street outside my window and all I had were more and more pairs of cheap dirty drugstore sneakers with wornout heels. I couldn't find my shorts, the startline was getting farther away, I lost my skin ointment (for chafing) and the only shirt I could find was cotton... I was very anxious and very sad.

I pep talk myself but it seems to be a discouragingly useless endeavor. I swore I would be in bed by 11, dishes cleaned, abscesses drained, homework done, floors swept. Instead I am sitting here with nothing done feeling airy and not the least bit compelled to start acting tired. *sigh* When will I learn??

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