Wednesday, August 10, 2005

Muscle bound heart

50 beats per minute. WHAT'S IS YOUR HEARTRATE? I squint and don't know where I am. He likes to sit on the edge of the bed and tell me I am beautiful when I am naked and nowhere from a dream. UM... He goes to work and I stay asleep, even though we talk I stay asleep. He tells me later what I say. I sing too he says but I bet its the same tune, something musicalearless I made up when I was sleeping. A song I don't remember when I am awake. I peek at my wrist, my heart leaps up to 56 beats per minute.

70 beats per minute. I leap out of bed. Its 10am and I was furious and appalled when he insinuated that I slept in past 9 every single day that he went to work.

88 beats per minute. I am at the computer. According to Karvonen if my resting heart rate is 50 at my age, and I am female then my MAXIMUM HEART RATE is 189. If I am a man it is 190. HOWEVER, conventional research says one should calculate heart rate zones based on 220, and I have read more recent findings that says if you are a chick then you should subtract your age from 226. I don't know what is right. It could be shoplifting from a meganational or my aging girlheart... I have never had a clue.

101 beats per minute. I always cheat on warm-up and cool-down time. I am a goldplated warm-upper. I hate gold. I hate people who fake gold even more then the people who flash the real thing. If I walk up a slight uphill for a minute and a half does that count?

156 beats per minute. Overshot.

129 beats per minute. Undershot. Fucking irritating.

I change my goal. I thought I might have a 60-70% day but maybe I will have a 50-60% day, or a 70-80% day. G-damnint. I cant dictate my heartrate.

Up the hill. Its not in me to take it easy coming in and it is a half mile uphill from either direction. 189 beats per minute. I am at my hearts maximum capacity. I cannot possibly be any heartier. CANT. I cross my finish line, a white rock at the stop sign at the top of the hill. I don't stop though. At least I walk.

I have stretched it and shook it and kept it fresh every way I know how. This day is so good I hope my heart keeps beating forever but I am in no hurry.

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