Monday, May 23, 2005

Emotions are chemical cocktails

I was just sitting here doing homework, minding my business and listening to music by the thousands, volumes and volumes of music, and this Sea and Cake song came on that was like a horseradish whiff of nostalgia.

I don't even know what or what I remembered but suddenly breezes that brushed up on me like, five years ago were giving me chills again and could feel the quality of that light so clearly that I could see the dust floating in the air.


Dust in sunlight is one of the most nostalgic things I have ever seen. I feel like a memory everytime dust gets caught in a sunbeam.

And it wasn't that song but it was a change between twangs and I just couldn't believe that I was typing a paper about interpreting cause my life isn't there yet.

I am so innocent.

Or not.

Thursday, May 19, 2005

8; the number of actual school days left

Yesterday we had an interactive interpretation and one girl started crying and nobody turned off the cameras, she just had to struggled through it.

After that we had an hour of recitation where it was unsafe to say a g-damned thing cause our class is the GREAT DISAPPOINTMENT, physically but not mentally present, unwilling to take initiative, and no one will trust our interpreting, especially because at the very least we haven't learned that the interpreting setting is NEVER ABOUT THE INTERPRETER who exists only in a capacity to serve the communication of others...never to be trusted especially cause we don't have the courtesy to keep our interfering emotions to ourselves...

And I came home and told the BF who called her a number of unkind expletives at which time I felt obligated to rise to her defense.

But then she showed up for class today perky...perky! and not the least bit contrite which steeled my resolve to write the letter I have been writing since fall term with more and more vehemence, as often in defense of my peers as my self, till I was writing in rush hour all the way home....


Dear Teacher Lady,

Your approach to the honorable profession of teaching coupled with your style of communication is difficult, combative, unreliable and punitive enough to be a detriment to the educational environment. For someone who has been a working interpreter and teacher of communication for over 25 years you should understand better then anyone that HOW you communicate is as important as WHAT you communicate. I am paying you a lot of money to teach me the skills to be an effective interpreter. I treat you with the respect you deserve and unconditionally expect your respect in return, not to be berated, babysat or disciplined.

When there is a regular pattern of student error, unanimous and uniform in the specifics of how they make a mistake perhaps you should examine where the potential breakdown in communication might be.

When you disparage the group for not having pens poised the second the clock-tick indicates the class-starting hour you too should respect those standards, that is, maybe you should show up on time at least half the time.

I work my fucking ass off to be here, as do 92.8 percent of the other students in this program, functioning on less then 5 hours of sleep on a regular basis. Pulling 15 hour days, I leave my house at 7am, go from school straight to work arriving home at 10pm, doing homework for a couple hours and crawling to bed at 1am, usually feeling anxious enough to lay awake for at least another 45 minutes...... till the alarm goes off at 6:15 the next morning.

I get my homework in on time. I HAVE NEVER TURNED IN A LATE ASSIGNMENT. I expect that you would take the time to grade those assignments and give me a little bit of useful feedback. After all, you are the one teaching. I don't think that is asking too much. I wouldn't mind knowing how I did on those interpretation videotapes I handed in over six weeks ago. The feedback might be relevant to the work I am trying to do right now. Thank you very much.


There is so much more to this story, like the echo in the community of working interpreters and the drop-outs and show-downs and the WHO is NOT a disappointment, and why do I want to like her despite myself and yet... I know I am gonna be one of the best feckin' interpreters that ever graduated from this stinkin' stinkhole (if I want to be) even if my instructor is the least supportive instructor I have ever had who has absolutely no personal investment in the success of her students. I may try to impress you with my lamelife-ness but I don't complain about it because I like the challenge and I have places to be that I shoulda been at five or eight years ago if I hadn't been vortexed away into a head full of thistle-fluff on the coast for so long. And now I am behind schedule dammmit.

But whatever. Summer is coming, I can hear the birdsongs between cloudbursts.

Wednesday, May 18, 2005

Depth Perception

I just cant believe the rain.

Conflict oriented and anxiety ridden...I am closing in on my summer vacation wherein I shift all that schooling into working till it is fall in a flash and classes start again.

looket my bruise!

thievin' rodent

front yard, pouring rain

Saturday, May 14, 2005

Make my dreams come true

I really wanna be back but I forgot how to wrote. see?

I had a dream about verb/noun pairs and felt it was imperative that YOU understand how funky English V/N pairs were and in the dream I was trying to post a few examples on the internet.

I haven't had much success making dreams come true but now I can cross it off my ToDoBeforeDeath list.

Keep in mind that verbs tend to stress the second syllable and nouns tend to stress the first syllable.

For example, if you say convict you mean someone, a noun of a person who has been found guilty of committing a crime.

But if you say convict then you mean the verb-ish act of deeming a person guilty. Apply those similar stress patterns to the list below for magical part-of-speech changing results!!!


make sense???


by the dozen-dozen


But besides that, its been bicycles and ladybugs, everything is green and everything is dirty all the time. We took two thousand pounds of dirtiness to the dump. I would say A TON but for fear that you would think I was using a hyperbolic qualifier.

And today I planted 9 dahlia bulbs and nasturtiums and morning glories and sunflowers... and drew stars and hearts on my hands but by the end of the day all the goodness collapsed in on itself as it is so likely to do.

Its been a hell of a spring, all thistly-prickle and bike-crashing like... sometimes I am just on cloud-9 and cannot remember why anything ever bothered me, for what-on-earth reason.

Spring fever is so disorienting, and so like undying thirst.

Wednesday, May 04, 2005

Today I Ate Soup

If you'd like to take the time to notice I have a new addition to my sidebar. My friend Dan from Littlebigmind is gonna be doing some charity pedaling this summer...
200 miles of bicycle goodness. I like to do what I can too.

More about that later tho.


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