Sunday, November 14, 2004

Belly Flops Onto The Bed

I spent the whole morning in bed eating green papaya salad, reading American Elf (James Kochalka I love you!) and My Evil Twin Sister. Its my running day off cause tomorrow I scheduled 12 miles and so today I get to lay around charging my batteries.

My Evil Twin Sister is driving me crazy cause she writes about living in my home town and hanging out in my apartment, and dating my roommates but she uses pseudonyms for everyone and there was so much craziness back then moving in and out, moving across the hall, moving home, then traveling around and moving back in to sublet my old room from someone who is prolonged subletting from someone who moved in after I moved out... So I cant place her and I don't know if I know her but how could I not? Anyway, she's great.

My language skills feels awkward and skewered, like I am having some sorta ASL intrusion but it is manifesting itself in weird verbizations and clause confusion, herniated pronominalization... and that sucks for me cause I am fetishistic about expression and writing and speaking and loving of words that I can polish like pearls.

But I am suffering in both languages and it is making me pondersome, and partly an itty-bit miserable. Its an adjustment period I am sure. I hope.

Like Friday night, in a conversation about restaurants, I tried to tell a Deaf Vietnamese woman that I have a friend who is Thai who always takes me to Pho, but instead I told her that my friend and I always get Thai at the Pho place which is not only an entirely different thing to say, but is awkward to correct and makes me sound like a dumb redneck who thinks all Asians look the same.

Then it made me wonder why I even pointed out that my friend is Thai like it matters, except that she broadens my food horizons exponentially cause she prefers all sort of Asian food to most American food. That idea was tied into something that was too abstract for me to express in sign language with my limited skills so the whole moment left me feeling impotent and profoundly sorrysome.

So I just ran off cause that is what I do, but that sort of behavior is probably interpreted culturally as rude by Deaf people who love long goodbyes... the longer the better. Goodbyes take like, as long as the event itself. I am not used to feeling humble and soft spoken in social situations. The growing pains of broader horizons. *sigh*

Anyway, America's culture war has got me all excited and feisty feeling. And superior. Did I mention how superior I feel, that me and my friends and family are smarter and better and brighter then all those conservative dickheads that are each and every one of them personally responsible for the next terrorist attack?

Yes, it is going to be tragic but my feeling of superiority will be a small comfort on that day.

I am gonna snuggle up with my superiority, deposit it in my account, use it as a lift in my shoe, beat you assholes about the head and shoulders with it. Yes, we are better then you, more deserving then you, better looking and have sweet smelling breath. Sucks for you.

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