Wednesday, October 27, 2004

If I could tell you all the things I can't tell you.....

My day went something like this...




After only four hours of sleep,
I got up at 5:20am,
ran a few miles,
attended seven hours of class,
gave two videotaped presentation/tests on various subjects in sign language,
took a third written exam,
left school just in time for milesandmilesandmiles of rush hour,
picked up Willie from the vet,
took her newly-spayed ass home,
changed clothes,
and ran out the door a half an hour later for a bartending shift...
which I was relieved to be relieved from early and just now walked in the door...
midnight.




Not to mention that I have had a house guest for six days who made coffee for me early in the morning but who had to be untangled from my bedding and my life and my stuff before setting back on their own road. Not after bringing me their burdens and..., and the worlds biggest secret that I am delighted to have, like this non-breeding-anymore cat in my lap I can pet it and own it and dangle things in front of it but I cant share it with anyone.

So be it.

Everyone think I am dead, or mad at them and those are all very time consuming corrections.




I force fed Willie feline pain killers and for once she is docile and cat like in my lap, heating pad-ish. Her shaved little belly is pink and black in the same ways her hair that is not there right now is white and black. Cuteness.




Last week Emmy and I ate habaneros and drank mango juice and cried big alligator tears. Crossing it off the list I realized I am just that much closer to dying.

Besides all that I am having severe election anxiety, cycling rapidly through the stages of grief and acceptance.

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