Monday, July 19, 2004

I Can Be A Real Jerk Sometimes.... Part 1

Ask anyone... 
Reality is so malleable.  Additionally language has high potential for manipulation and if you understand that then you have a large degree of control over perception of events within your sphere of influence.  
For example, if I am intentionally euphemistic and charming about owning up to my faults then they become sort of endearing idiosyncrasies, but if someone wanted to read me the riot act then they could make me out to be the horrible person that I am without hyperbole just by changing their choice of words
People can use words in far subtler ways to mold perceptions.  I, for one, am fetishistic about language and can be very persuasive when I want to be.  In this case I would like to persuade you that calling someone a 'fucking retard' on the internet is not so bad, or that if you put yourself out there you have to expect a certain amount of light hearted jocularity, but really... 
Straight faced, IT was a patently un-nice thing to do. 
Well this morning the offended party contacted me and we had a short volley through comments posted on this blog.  You can follow the exchange by going here...  then here.  
After that he sent me a private email.  He said that at first he was flattered that I had linked to him then he found the link and, being insulted, lashed out at me for which he was sorry
And so, without being coy or flippant, I would like to extend my apology as well. 
The summer that my boyfriend and I house sat for my mother, a girl at the local coffee shop read both our palms and told us the reason we got along so well is because YOU EACH HAVE A STREAK OF THE DEVIL IN YA A MILE WIDE.  She was pretty accurate about everything else even if we were only the second and third palms she ever read so I choose to believe her.....not that its an excuse but it is in my nature.    
But about the manipulative nature of communication--------------- 
This influence plagues a lot of people I think...  I have heard that Dominatrixes have a steady stream of customers who are successful businessmen who want someone to humiliate them and  degrade them because they don't feel worthy of their success.  They feel like charlatans who will be denigrated when their bluff is called and the anxiety caused by the anticipation of that moment is relieved by acting out the punishment. 
Anyway, it is a pretty common anxiety, to different degrees of course...I mean, not everyone is wearing the ball gag and suffering a stiletto heel in the small of their back.... but still I think to feel like you are misleading people when you win the approval you seek is a pretty conventional neurosis.  
I think I am misleading by making everything seem whimsical and light hearted.  In reality I am often pensive and reflective.  DON'T LET ME AND MY WICKED WAYS FOOL YOU. 
Coming soon!  The low-down on the STP.  Man watta ride! 


Anonymous said...

I can vouch for that streak of the devil, and I'm not even into palmistry.

asia said...

Yes you can my dear... and you can just button that lip cause you love me to death anyway. Basta!


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