Monday, June 14, 2004

I Want To Be Seen

Man, these are days... living in a country run by a man whose emotional range is SMUG (some occasional coveting) and if he wins a second term we are SCREWED. A sitting duck president with four years of not having to worry about re-election. At least Reagan had charisma.

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Hey! I have been trying to get into the Chance Meetings and the I Saw You section of the personals for a long damn time (riding around on city busses looking sad and yet evocative in a lily print dress, reading Punk PLanet in public squares, making eye contact during rush hour) and short of taking out my own ad I figure a little coaching doesn't hurt...
DO be witty and charming
DO be sure to mention the fantastical first impression I made on you
DO be enraptured by the second, third and fourth impressions if the situation dictates
DO be pickled by the heart on my sleeve
DON'T be too blunt, were talking intrigue
DON'T be trapped by boring facts: Chem Lab, 9am you have a short space to make an impression
DON'T end your ad with: coffee? Be original.

I have been clipping ads that I fancy for quite awhile. I am listing a few of them here.
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Library Girl

You are like a tree trunk in the snow. A little push should be enough to set you rolling. No, it can't be done, for you are firmly wedded to the ground. But see, even that is only appearance. Send an email!
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I SAW U!

You: Skirt Me: Pants... Let's make sweet sweet love. Send an email!
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You tell secrets in your sleep! Are you in love with a sandwich. I wish I was that sandwich. I can dress up like a sandwich. Wanna sandwich? 8425
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Oh Well

6/23 You ~ all black & holding a little bag, you looked like you had a lot to say. When we got on the bus you looked out the window & looked really sad. I really wanted to talk to you. Send an email!
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Addis Apparition

Saturday morning coffee is the only thing in this world that passes for heaven. Come with me to Africa and we can travel the hot, fertile Nile Valley at midnight and make out in the moonlight. Let's run away. Send an email!
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Q
OMG can I do you now? Send an email!
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Fred Meyer, St. Johns, Friday, 28th May, about 5.p.m. Registers next to each other. You: woman, sweat type suit, curly hair, gorgeous! Me: man with daughter, very interested,are you?
7486
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You: blue car Me: black truck. Morning commute, Sunset Highway. You drive too fast. Sex?
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Really, I don't own a lily print dress, god forbid....and I don't do Chemistry Labs at any time of the day.

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